Tuesday, November 16, 2021

SciFi/Fantasy Book Review: All of Us with Wings by Michelle Ruiz Keil

 



All of Us with Wings was the young adult fantasy debut of author Michelle Ruiz Keil, a book dealing heavily with magical realism in San Francisco.  Keil's second novel, 2021's Summer in the City of Roses (my review here), was utterly brilliant, and so after finishing it, I immediately went back and reserved this first novel to see what I'd missed.  

And All of Us with Wings is also really good, dealing with some very serious themes and issues that came from the author's own life (per the author's intro).  The story uses magical realism to deal with a 17 year old girl who dealt with parental abandonment, rape and parental abuse, and who ran away from home as a result, only to find herself with a strange family of rockers as the governess to their 13 year old daughter.  Needless to say, the protagonist Xochi, has a lot of problems dealing with things in her life stemming from her past abuses, and fantastical elements conspire to force her to deal with that past as her reactions in the present to new and complicated situations only seem to make things worse, leading her to fear everything is her own fault.  It's done mostly really well, as it portrays it all through the eyes of Xochi, the people around her, and even a cat who is more sentient and wise that he appears and I can see this novel helping an unfortunate larger amount of young people than I wish was the case.  

Trigger Warning:  Rape, Sexual Assault, Drug Usage, Parental Neglect, Parental Abuse.  How these events (other than the drug usage) affected the protagonist and how she can move forward is the focus of this novel, so there's no avoiding them.  


---------------------------------------------------Plot Summary---------------------------------------------------
When 17 year old Xochi, newly run away to San Francisco from a past she'd rather forget, she didn't know what to expect when the 12 year old she befriended, a girl named Pallas, introduced her to her strange family of semi-famous rockers...weird sort-of-polyamorous group who all lived together in a large house.  She had even less idea what to expect when that same family soon invited her to live with them as Pallas' live-in-governess, since they didn't really do any hands on parenting.  All Xochi knew was that she'd be off the street and in a comfortable house, with at least one younger friend she could talk to.  

She has even less idea what to do when she starts having feelings towards Pallas' father, and those feelings appear to be returned - to both of their horrors.  Or when the parties the family starts taking her to start giving her flashbacks towards her own past, towards the mother who abandoned her and the man she abandoned Xochi with...and what happened next.  And as Xochi begins to feel like she herself is acting like that mother, to her own horror, as she deals with her own history, her own attractions, and the uncertainty of what there is in life for her.  

And then there are the two fae-like spirits Xochi has been dreaming about after doing a silly rock ritual with Pallas, which seem to be realer than she realizes, and on a mission to make sure that all the pains Xochi has ever felt face proper retribution....no matter the consequences.......
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All of Us with Wings is not an easy read, as you might guess from the triggers and themes I mentioned above.  The book tells the story from a frequent shifting of perspectives in ways that really center the magical realism of it all - so most of the story is from Xochi's perspective, but we have substantial parts from all of her new found family/employers (the distinction between the two is a conflict the book is well aware of and deals with), as well as significant parts from the perspective of a cat who follows along and tries to avert a magical catastrophe - and we have parts that deal with the two fae-like beings who glide through the background and seem constantly on the verge of causing problems....which of course they do inevitably in a way that also explores the perspectives of other characters from Xochi's past.  This shifting of perspectives and magical unreality of it all allows for a narrative that isn't linear, but never feels all that confusing, and allows Keil to tell this story in a way that didn't make me want to put down the book repeatedly in horror (although one portion, dealing with Xochi's former stepfather, did get there).  

Still this is largely Xochi's story, as she tries to be an adult at age 17 despite well, being age 17 and having a ton of trauma to work through.  Xochi wants to be a kid at times and a friend to Pallas, the 12/13 year old she's "hired" to be a governess for, but also wants more than that - to experience the parties Pallas' rock star family throws, to experience lust and love for those she's attracted to, to try piercings and smoking and drugs....things she associates to some extent with adulthood, with her even claiming at first to be 19, despite pretty much everyone but the gullible Leviticus seeing right through it.  At the same time, Xochi is haunted by her past in so many ways - when she finds herself flirting with a man who she knows she shouldn't (or having another man kiss her unexpectedly), she feels she's turning into the mom who abandoned her and is horrified; when she's called a bitch, she has flashbacks to the words aimed at her and her mom back then; and of course in her attraction to older men (and occasionally women).  And as Xochi was abused and abandoned, she's both terrified of having that happen again, and willing to do almost anything at times in response to her fears of that happening.  And again, she's just 17, despite all these experiences, experiences she sometimes can't even admit to herself were real and happening - something that needs to happen by the end of the book for her to move on just a little bit.  She's not an adult, and unfortunately, while her found family is in many respects good, it isn't particularly good at teaching a girl like her that it's okay to not be sure, but no matter what they'll be there for her.  

That that found family - which also doubles as her employers, which creates further tension for Xochi (the family thinks of the job as less of a real thing than just an excuse for Xochi to be there and for leaving Pallas with her, while Xochi believes at times it's the only reason she has a right to be there) -  is a non-typical group doesn't help her confusion.  There's father Leviticus, the the late 20s rocker who Xochi finds herself attracted to, with the two both knowing it should be wrong for so many reasons but still feeling tempting; there's Io, Pallas' mother (as a teenage mom), who lives in the same house with Leviticus but isn't with him anymore, though there's some feelings both ways (mostly from Leviticus though); there's Kiki, Io's friend and Pallas' godmother; there's Bubbles, the former stripper; then there's the most weird of all Kylen, the man with connection to magic who can sense who someone is by touching them.  They're free love to an extent, but also not, and they also aren't quite sure how to parent their own child in Pallas, and are more of a mess than anything else in lots of respects...which doesn't help Xochi know when her own being a mess is acceptable.  But they're all really lovable and enjoyable to read, with one kinda exception.  

That exception, and really the book's greatest flaw, is Leviticus, the father, who winds up despite their knowing its wrong being drawn to a relationship sorta with Xochi, although they never go too far and they don't wind up "together"....but despite it all, and despite Xochi growing from all the experiences, both magical and real, Leviticus doesn't really face much consequences for his actions.....Xochi and Pallas, the two people most hurt by his actions just grow up a bit as a result, and he...sorta remains the same?  He's well meaning, so it's not like I felt he needed punishment, but well Xochi is only 17, he's aware of that, and the book lets him off too easy for giving in anyway.  

Still, despite that flaw, this is a really strong book dealing with a teenage girl dealing with trauma, abuse, and abandonment, and learning there is a path forwards from it all even as she understands what happens to herself.  And for the many kids out there who suffered like Xochi, this book may wind up being a big help.  

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