Full Disclosure: This book was read as an e-ARC (Advance Reader Copy) obtained via Netgalley from the publisher in advance of the book's release on May 14, 2024 in exchange for a potential review. I give my word that this did not affect my review in any way - if I felt conflicted in any way, I would simply have declined to review the book.
I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons is a new novel by legendary Fantasy Author Peter S. Beagle (of The Last Unicorn fame). The novel features multiple point of view characters but largely focuses upon Robert, a man who has taken over his father's trade of dragon extermination (dragons being usually about as big as cats or dogs in this world and largely being pests who hole up in places. But Robert feels a connection with dragons - seemingly being able to understand them - and sees them as creatures he would rather save than kill and would rather do anything else if he could. Naturally when he gets roped into the affairs of a prince who is forcibly being sent to adventure by his valet and a princess who wants to get the prince to love her and he sees a chance to leave the dragon extermination procession by helping them....things go very very differently than he expects.
It's a world with dragons - both the small pest like type and the large scary type - and wizards and royalty and commoners and it's done quite well, with all of its main characters being pretty well sketched out and enjoyable. The first half of the story almost feels more like a comedy, due to the hilarious bits of misunderstanding between all the royal main characters - Prince Reginald just wants to kind of find adventure and has no interest in marriage or princely duties, his valet Mortmain wants desperately to make him act like a prince and aims to betroth him to the Princess, the Princess Cerise wants Reginald to love her as he's the only prince who seems genuine....etc. etc. It's all rather amusing and then around the midway point we switch to a story dealing with fantasy adventure, large dragons, and an evil wizard...which is itself fun and interesting but doesn't quite stand out as well and kind of feels very generic and ends rather abruptly, to the point I had to reread the ending twice to make sure I hadn't missed a plot point. The result is a book that's enjoyable and yet isn't quite either the heartwarming or fun fantasy adventure or screwball royal comedy it seemed poised to be.
Plot Summary:
Robert - full name: Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax, which he certainly wishes it wasn't - has inherited his father's role as the local dragon exterminator for the small backwater Kingdom of Bellemontagne. It's a job he hates for all that he's good at it, for Robert feels a connection to and cares for dragons, and wishes he could do literally almost anything else.I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons kind of feels like two different kinds of books. On one hand you have a pretty ridiculous court intrigue/humor novel, featuring Cerise, who wants Reginald for being down to earth instead of a prince, Reginald, who wants to not be a prince but is sort of being forced by his valet to go on a quest to prove princely valor (and certainly has no interest in marriage or the princess), Reginald's valet Mortmain, who is trying to use his courtly talent to manage the prince and get things going in a satisfactory direction to the king (Mortmain is great), the Queen and King, who love their daughter but are fearful Reginald is really the next step in his father's expansionary tactics, etc. It's a lot of fun, and then you add in Robert, struggling with his hatred of a job that involves him killing what he loves and Robert's two commoner friends, one of whom loves Robert and the other, who helps Robert, has a crush on the other. Hijinx and misunderstandings all ensue, and it's helped by the fact that basically everyone is actually well meaning at heart and easy to either relate to or root for.
Princes Cerise of Bellemontagne is so beautiful princes from all the neighboring kingdoms come to seek her hand. But she's tired of their suits and their clear falseness and wishes she could just be herself and maybe teach herself how to read. Yet when Crown Prince Reginald of the powerful nearby kingdom of Corvinia stumbles across her while she's incognito in the local forest and is actually modest and genuine with her, Cerise finds herself smitten and desperate to get Reginald's attention.
Of course Reginald has not come to Bellemontagne in search of a princess: he's come, under the guidance of his wise exasperated valet Mortmain, to find some adventure or quest he can do to prove he isn't a coward and is a worthy heir to his father....even if he desperately wishes he didn't need to do so or even be a prince. But then Mortmain comes up with the idea that Reginald can prove himself both by marriage and by hunting down a "dangerous" beast, a local big but not too dangerous variety of dragon perhaps. And what better way to ensure this hunt works than enlisting the local expert in Robert by promising him a job as a palace valet? Surely nothing could go wrong in that.....
And then the book switches once Robert is hired by Mortmain to lead Reginald on a quest (which Cerise insists upon coming along with and bringing retainers to prove her worth as a wife) to slay a dragon who shouldn't be too dangerous even if that dragon is pretty big and needs to be slain in a particular way. Naturally things go wrong, and the trio wind up on an adventure where they're forced to confront a dangerous wizard who is wielding unnatural dragons on a quest for revenge...a wizard who has taken interest in Robert because Robert can, as the story implies at first, truly connect with dragons and might have a strange power over them. And so we have a story focusing mainly on the trio (leaving behind my favorite character, Mortmain) where Robert has to figure out who he really is power wise and what he can do, even if he doesn't want to be a hero or some dragonmaster, Cerise begins to have feelings for Robert (despite the latter thinking that's impossible for a commoner) and Reginald finding some small bit of courage even as it really can't amount to much.
This adventure plot isn't bad and it's enjoyable....but it just feels a lot more generic and unremarkable and things sort of happen because they have to (Cerise/Robert's romantic relationship just feels like it was done by the numbers), the antagonist is utterly unremarkable as just an evil wizard coming for revenge, and the final defeat of the antagonist requires a plot turn at the end that made me think one thing was happening when it really didn't and just ends quite abruptly. The adventure still does allow the book to somewhat continue with its main theme - that of characters who feel forced to fit into roles their birth and society has made for them even if they don't like those roles - but it just feels like the earlier half of the book was far more what I wanted.
In short, I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons is fine, and I wouldn't recommend against it, but it just feels too fractured for me to love and recommend above many other books even with the same humorous tone.
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